


His First Love

by Kisses_and_KPOP



Category: Monsta X (Band), Showki - Fandom
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:00:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23345833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisses_and_KPOP/pseuds/Kisses_and_KPOP
Summary: Hyunwoo eats a lot. Kihyun is sick? Minhyuk thinks he likes Jooheon. Joohoney.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Im Changkyun | I.M, Lee Jooheon/Lee Minhyuk, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing in ao3. My first Monsta x fic. Don't expect anything.

It's 6:00 am and Kihyun should be here knocking his ass off the bed.

It's 6:03 am. Kihyun isn't doing his morning routine. Nowhere to be seen. 

"This is weird."

"Hyung."

"What?" That's weirder. 

"Hyungwon??? You're awake already?"

"Ki-hyung is sick. He asked me to wake you up."

Kihyun? Sick? As in SICK? 

"But he's never sick."

"There's always a first time. He just asked me to wake you up. But I guess you don't need me here."

WFT are you smirking? 

_"That kid."_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In terms of health, I was always the sick one among the group. So I needed to drink a lot of medicine and do regular exercise. That way, I prevent myself from getting sick easily. My immune system was fucked up when I was younger that's why I was home schooled. Luckily, my younger brother wasn't like me. He became my exercise buddy after learning that work out would help my health. He's also the reason why I genuinely enjoyed working out. After passing my GPA, I finally got the permission to go to college. It was a relief to my whole family. Mom and Dad was the happiest that day. That life changing moment was thanks to my loving brother. 

College became my play ground. A way to get back all the wasted time of being home all throughout my teenage life. My younger brother was ahead of me by a year but that's alright. I don't pressure myself cause I didn't think I could've gone to college without his help. I'm the oldest in my class but I had the least amount of experience in life. I actually felt a little behind by my classmates. 

I've been an awkward bear for a while. The hyung and oppa of the whole class. I felt old. But I wasn't sad or lonely either. I know I was just starting to adjust to life outside my comfort zone. The mundane routine became my life. Wake up, eat, go to school, eat, work out, sleep, study, and back to one. I am the happiest. 

Then, something shift. Something change. 

**Kihyun arrived.**

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You alright Ki?"

"Why are you even here? It's almost seven!"

"I never missed school ever since I started."

"Yeah. I know that. And it's weird to see you not prepared THIS HOUR! Why the fuck are you still here?"

"Language."

He's cute when he's annoyed. 

"Aren't you leaving?"

"I think Mr. Lee & Dr. Young would still pass me this semester. A day off will not ruin my record."

He looks not sick, he seems normal today. 

_Hmmmm._

Except those puffy eyes. 

"I want to take care of you today. You look normal but Hyungwonnie said you're sick."

"I don't want to."

_Nahhh._

"Nope. I'll stay and no one can change my mind."

"Can you please let me wallow in sadness-... I MEAN SICKNESS!"

"It's no fair. You got to take care of me ever since the beginning. This is the first time that I will be the giving side in this relationship."

"WHAT RELATIONSHIP ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Yah Yoo Kihyun. Are you denouncing our friendship this early morning?"

What the hell is with him with that pouty lips and killer eyes. 

"Control freak, I am a good server and my food taste okay. Why are you even freaking out? I'm not dirty?"

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I vividly remember those sharp slit of an eye. That gorgeous smile to die for. That soft fluffy hair. An oversized polo shirt and fitted skinny jeans. He's all smile. Maybe he's younger than me for about a year or two. He has that sparkly eyes and painted nails.

_Good morning everyone. This is Mr. Yoo Kihyun who just finished his service and is one of our few returning students. Introduce yourself child._

"Hello everyone."

He is a returning student?

That cute small dude just came out of the military.

"I'm Yoo Kihyun. You can call me Kihyun. I'm about two years older than most of you but don't hesitate to approach me. I don't bite. I'm an Engineering Major and Classical Music is my elective.I am still adjusting as I have been on the Military Camp for two years. Please take care of me."

Classical Music?

"I'm confident singer and if you don't mind, I want to sing a composition of one of our Senior in the Music Department. It's called _Shall we?_ by Jongdae-Sunbaenim ."

_We like to hear it Mr. Yoo_

It's sad that tonight is fading  
I want to hold on and not let go  
My warm heart like this tea cup  
I'm shy and it's a little tacky

He sounds angelic.

Don't don't hide yourself  
It's sad if I'm in a hurry alone  
My burning heart like that flame  
I want to give it to you, I want to stay  
Don't hurt me

Damn.

What shall we do about tonight?  
Shall we cross the sparkling galaxy together?  
In the night where the lazy streetlights are drowsy  
In the night, tonight

So soon before we know  
The stars are moving step by step  
With the scent of this night carried upon the wind from somewhere  
I want to be mesmerized, I want to lean on it  
But why are you just smiling?

What shall we do about tonight?  
Shall we cross the sparkling galaxy together?  
In the night where the lazy streetlights are drowsy  
In the night, tonight

Come into my arms, I'll hold you tight  
Please don't hide it my dear  
Come to me just the way you are

What shall we do about tonight?  
Shall we cross the sparkling galaxy together?  
In the night where the lazy streetlights are drowsy  
In the night, tonight 

He suits that song. God. He's so good. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	2. His First Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shownu thinks Kihyun is not sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me trying to salvage my first monsta x fic.

My eyes are red as hell. I don't want Hyunwoo to see me like this. The fucker should just die in his sleep. Ughhhhhhhhh. UGHHHHHHHHHHH. What do I do? Oh look, Hyungwon is still here. 

"Won, I'm not really feeling well. Can you wake Hyunwoo up for me?"

This dorm have it's perks. Do I look sickly enough?

"Are you sick Ki-hyung?"

Yep, I did. BUWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! Ugh. I shouldn't be too proud about that. 

"I think so. I'm heading to bed, my head is killing me. I've cooked some breakfast, eat before you go to school."

But seriously, my head is killing me.

"Thanks hyung. Do I need to ask Minhyuk to take notes for you?"

"No worries, I've already texted him. He'll send me our lecture tonight."

"Great then. I'll eat first before waking Woo-hyung up."

"Okay. I'll sleep now. Thanks Won."

Sigh. 

That boy is an angel. I feel sorry for lying but I can't face Hyunwoo looking like this. He can't see me this desperate for his attention. I'm not even his boyfriend. How dare he treat me like a trash. 

_**flashback**  
Hoseok, for the love of god, can you tell me where the hell is Hyunwoo right now? _

_I've already told you, I DON'T KNOW!_

_He told me yesterday that you two will head to the gym after our class. Why the fuck are you alone here at the gym NOW?_

_Kihyun. Listen to me my dear friend. I don't know why would Hyunwoo say that but he has his own schedule and his brother is his workout buddy. We never even once work out together at the gym._

_Why would Hyunwoo lie to me?_

_I mean, you've been attached to hip ever since you've known each other. You should know why._

_I know right. He never once did this. He always tell me everything._

_Wait. Maybe he's dating someone._

__

Why would he date someone without his best friend knowing it? Fuck. This eye-sweat sucks. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was a naughty child. Very talkative and active. I'm friends with everyone. That's my qualities and I've known it ever since I can remember. I've always known that I like boys too. It was never an issue for me. Not until my father discovered it. 

We grew apart. He died in an accident. He never accepted me. I never forgave him. It was a reality that I didn't like talking about. 

Thankfully, my eldest brother and sister accepted who I am. But mother celebrated it with me. She knew it since I was a little child and she always encourage me. I'm lucky that the rest of the people I love really loved me for who I am. 

I decided to go to a big university after highschool so that I can pursue music. My whole family were reluctant, for it was very far away from home. But they have trust in me. 

University life is a breath of fresh air. I met a lot of people who were not bothered about my sexuality. I've met a lot of people who're like me. For the first time, I felt that I belong. 

Until I was drafted. 

Shit happens for a reason. 

Military life is different with my childhood life and university life. It's a harsh way of living. And pretending to be straight is the hardest part. 

I was never ashamed of myself but being gay in the military means being vulnerable. I've enclosed my sexuality with the people I considered friends which were very few. I have trust issues that's why I'm always quiet and aloof most of the time. 

It was a hell. But that hellhole just lasted for two years. Coming back in the university life became a dream come true. 

University life is like home. 

_  
"Mr. Yoo, you may take your seat."_

_"Thank you Professor."_

__

Singing always boost up my confidence. This is my first day all over again. 

_"You can sit here."_

_Fuck. Holy shit._

_Gorgeous eyes._

_Pouty lips._

_THAT BODY._

_That smile._

_THAT SMILE._

__"Do you want to sit next to the window?"_ _

__"I want to sit on you."_ _

__"Wait. What's that?"_ _

__"I mean yes. If you don't mind. I would like to sit next to you."_ _

__"Don't worry. I'm okay with any position."  
_ _

_WAIT WHAT?_

__  
"You can sit here and I'll just move to the side."_ _

__

Angels do fall from heaven. 

Fuck. 

I'm fucked.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Here's your nice, hot cup of coffee." 

Die.

"It's cold."

"Nice cup of coffee."

Suffer.

"It tastes bad."

"Cup of coffee."

Disappear.

"I'm not even sure if this is coffee."

"Cup."

YOU DESERVE THAT!!!

"Kihyun, please! For the love of god, can you stop bitching around. Hyunwoo IS trying!"

"I'm your best friend."

"OKAY! But can you please talk to him? He's infront of you. Why do you need to summon me to my slumber just to be your messenger?"

"I can't hear you."

"That's it. I'm done. Solve it yourself. I'm out."

"But Hos-" 

And poof. He's gone. 

Hoseok you bitch. 

"Kihyun-ah"

DIE. 

"Don't talk to me."

"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

Why do you even bother? 

"Lying."

Being honest won't make me forgive you. 

"Just go and don't bother me."

Go to your girlfriend already. 

"I didn't mean to lie, Ki."

But you did. 

"I don't care. I'm not your mother. I'm not your guardian. You don't need to ask my permission."

"I'm really sorry. I lied because Jeongyeon wants it to be our secret."

Eye. Sweat. SUCKS. 

"I want to sleep Woo. I'm sick. I need to rest."

"Are you crying?"

Of course I am you FUCKER. 

"My head hurts. I just need to sleep. Can we just drop this."

"I'm just really sorry Kihyin-ah."

"I know. I accept your apology. Now, can leave?"

I don't want you to see me like this. 

"Do you need med--"

"CAN YOU JUST LEAVE? LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!"

I didn't mean that. 

"Oh. Okay. Get well soon then."

Sorry. 

I didn't mean that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying my best but it's really hard. I'll add some chapters after this.


	3. His First Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is lovelier.

It was a futile attempt. He knew something was off but he can't pinpoint the problem. Ki would never skip class. He would die inside the campus and would still go the next day. Hoseok knew his reasons but won't even chirp a hint for him. 

The day was empty without Kihyun beside him. He's an unfinished puzzle all throughout the day. Even Joo & Kyun noticed it. 

**"Hyung, Kihyun isn't dying. Let the man be sick in peace. Right Kkungkkung?"**

"Hmmm."

_"Quick question. Does Kihyun-hyung approve of Jeongyeon-noona? Honey told me that he's been looking for you at the gym not knowing you're on a date wit- owww. Yo wtf JOO! STOP PINCHING ME!"_

**"KIHYUN-HYUNG IS JUST SICK! NO NEED TO ASK HYUNWOO HYUNG ABOUT HIS DATE!"**

"Jeongyeon doesn't want anyone to know about our relationship cause her sorority sisters are sensitive about her dating men. She told me she's bi and her friends are kinda gate-keeping her so she ask me to make it a secret... just for a while. I want to tell Ki but I don't want to disappoint Yeon. I promised her that it would be our secret."

**"Say hyung... Do you love Noona?"**

"Well I know it's not love yet, we are new to this relationship. But I could definitely say I like her... so much that the idea of dating her makes me giddy. This is also the first time that someone made me think of going into an actual relationship. She's someone I want to keep by my side."

**"You're THAT serious hyung?"/b >**

****

"Well, I think I am... She's so beautiful that every time I look at her, it makes me smile."

_"Soooooo... when will you let Ki-hyung meet Jeongyeon-noona-- yah JOO stop pinching me!"_

"I don't know... I don't want it now... I think... I'm not ready to let them meet yet."

_"And why is that?"_

"I... I just don't want it now."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Stop the dramatics Yoo Kihyun. Stop deluding yourself that Son Hyunwoo would date you... let alone fuck you. You delusional dwib. That's for you for fucking with my man. Yoonggi is mine and mine only.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

"it's so fucking unfair. That guy heart eyes me every single day ever since we met. He fucking heart eyes me everyday. He told me he loves me. He told me that he can't live without me. He told me that I'm special. He told me that I am one of a kind. He always tell me that he loves me. WHY WOULD HE BREAK MY HEART LIKE THIS!!!!"

Hoseok's disgusted face is illuminated in the changing colors of the disco hall. Kihyun, drunk and already shit-faced is drowning his misery in his beer and evil alcohol concoction. 

"Let us clear things before you attempt anything stupid. HE and I mean SON HYUNWOO does not heart eyes you. What is even heart eyes? He heart eyes (?) every single soul he know. He is a kind guy."

"He looks at me like I am his world SO SHUT THE FUCK UP HOSEOK!!!"

"I don't argue with drunkards Ki, don't try, you'll just be disappointed."

"I LOVE HIM HYUNGGGGGGGG!!!"

"There there... Kihyun. Don't make it harder for yourself. Hyunwoo loves you BUT AS A FRIEND. He can't live without you CAUSE you're his best friend... I mean I am your best friend but I let him think he's yours cause he is a softie and I like innocent people he makes the world better. He's not lying when he told you you're one of a kind, look at you, miserably incoherent and drunk in love. He loves you cause his pure heart loves the people around him. It is unfair to blame him on the things he can't control."

"BUT YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND! WHY CAN'T YOU SIDE ME!"

"I am your best friend and I don't like seeing you like shit. the thing is, I don't like the way you're reacting right now. I've told you a million times before that if you like him, tell him. I told you that you should confess. All those advises were years ago and you did nothing. It is not his fault that you are cowardly seeking his love in the shadows."

"But I don't wanna loose him. What if he'll hate me cause I like him. What if... he gets disgusted when he finds out. What i-"

"And now those what ifs are gone cause your chance was up. It's your fault Ki and even though it hurts, it is okay. It's okay to get hurt. The choice was on your hand and you choose to not take your chance."

"What would you do if you fuck up like this Seok?"

"I don't know, I don't do things like this, I don't fuck up shit Kihyun. It's yours to figure out."

"You are a heartless bitch for a best friend."

"I just like to keep it real Ki, be thankful I am your best friend, I won't coddle you, I would help you figure it out instead."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yoo Kihyun, do you hate me?"

"Fuckers like you should die."

Hyunwoo knew that Kihyun never use this language when he's is sober. He only gets drunk when he is frustrated or mad. 

"Do you hate me because I lied to you?"

"I should kill you right this moment."

"I'm sorry Kih- Why are you crying?! Kihyun??? Kihyun!?"

Sobbing like a mad man, Kihyun cried in front of Hyunwoo. Bared and hurt all over his face. Heart-wrenching sobs one after another. As if he's a kid all over again wanting to have what he can't get. Every desperate cry calls for help. Then... out of no where, a loving arms engulf him.

"Shhhhhh... I'm sorry if I upset you."

Kihyun, with all the love he has for Hyunwoo freezes. Now on Hyunwoo's warm hug he realized something. Something stupid that Hoseok would never even dare think of doing.

"What can I do to make you feel better?"

The calmness on Hyunwoo's voice and demeanor pushes Kihyun's stupidity. He will regret this tomorrow but now, it's the only thing he can think of.

"Love me Son Hyunwoo."

and everything fades. Hyunwoo's face is the only thing that he saw before it went black.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Jongdae and I think his song suits Kihyun so much. I fell for that song and it's one of my favourite. 
> 
> English is my second language so grammar is my enemy. I'm not really a good author but please leave nice comments to boost my confidence in continuing this. Thank you for reading.


End file.
